Im in my final year in university. [https://www.coparents.com/sperm-donors/how-to-find-a-free-sperm-donor-online.php]. Today its been 1 year since the surgery. I like the word dad because Father is in Heaven. God bless . So I can understand your conflicting emotions. I feel for you. After I had the abortion I desperately wanted that the doctor made a mistake and month after month I wished to be pregnant. I have been battling with the decision for some time now, had an appointment yesterday and didnt go because the voices of those who tell me I need to have the courage to keep the baby keep ringing in my head and those that guilt trip me on the decision of abortion and how wrong it is. My significant other is leaving the decision to me and will support either way it goes but I just dont know what to do. I was pretty much pressured to become pregnant by my boyfriend at the time (now very ex). my boyfriend has 3 daughters from 2 previous relationships age 10, 8, & 2. Tell your friends, I dont have many friends but Ive told my closest ones. She told me she was flattered but nothing could stop her from the abortion. One day, maybe. And I think I would have either way I would have decided so why am I finding it so hard to accept and move on. When God made me, He gave me a soul This apparently isnt convincing enough, and he asks if Ive taken any more havent I considered it could be a false positive? I didnt want to be, but I had a hard time standing up to him and saying no for myself. I just had to message to empathise that this is not an easy decision and I understand the turmoil you are likely going through right now. I n 1967, when Governor Ronald Reagan made California the third state in the union to liberalize its abortion laws, his hesitancy about doing so was clear from the start . This time is different. Yes, he did everything he was supposed to and yes the tests afterwards declared him sterile. When I had my daughter, he unfortunately couldnt be there and I raised her on my own until she was about 6 years old. I never knew if I wanted kids or not or if Id make a good mother. Two years later in our relationship, he did end up confessing to me that the abortion caused him to resent me. As you can imagine, childhood and progression through young adulthood is very hard for foster children because most of our supports disappear once we turn 18 or so and are no longer eligible for the child welfare systems services. I dont know where to go or what to research for. The pain in my gut has not gone away. I took away all the vitamins, iron, proteins, calcium and every bit of you in me. I always wanted to be a mum I adore children but back then I couldnt keep it . I just wanted to say thank you for writing this. I feel like Im losing either way; if I get an abortion, Ill most likely regret it, and if I dont, Ill struggle as a single mother. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. I understand you completely I found out I was pregnant pretty early ( 2-3 weeks ) decided I was going to go through with the pregnancy after me & my boyfriend relationship changes drastically he started to become emotionally and mentally abuse. no one is on my side. 1 A letter to a woman considering abortion Dear Friend, I was thinking of you today. An Ohio lawmaker proposing a near-total abortion ban was given a hypothetical: A 13-year-old girl is raped and becomes pregnant as a result. And it bothers me that my husbands doesnt realize the pain Im going through. My first pregnancy ended the relationship because I betrayed him, although he would never step down from his responsibilities , and thats how he made me feel. Its so irresponsible of me i know, but i dont want him to feel like Im trying to use this new baby as a way to rekindle our relationship that in reality was not that good. I know one day when everything is settled down and fine she/he will come again and Ill be more prepared. Me too A M, August the 30th. Help us build the most popular collection of contemporary poetry on the internet! I always believed that I will meet my angel one day. I wanted an abortion but my boyfriend wanted us to keep the baby. He doesnt know the end result, nor do I feel that he deserves to. I received my bachelors degree in adolescent counselling just last June. Im sure it goes without saying from reading about my childhood but I have mental health issues and Im not sure having a child of my own is something I will ever be mentally ready for, but I certainly wasnt then. Everyone experiences the aftermath of abortion differently, but here is what I may have written in a letter to my aborted baby: Dear Asher, Precious boy, how I long to hold you in my arms. I hope she can forgive me. I was 5 weeks. I dont know what to do. My advice to you would be to remember that at the end of the day, and your life, you have to be able to live with yourself, so forget about what your partner wants and do what is right for you. I didnt want him to be there for me or my baby out of obligation, I wanted him to be happy. Im 23 years old. And I dont feel well. ????? I realize this is an odd place to share this information, and I am in a much different situation now, but several years ago my partner and I struggled through severe male factor infertility when TTC my youngest. She was worth fighting for. It would have killed me alive to have given birth to those children and given them a life they did not deserve. However I was so sick I could barely make it to class and I was on the verge of going to the hospital for dehydration. No one understands what Im feeling, I hate myself for this. Now it is 3 months later and I always find myself looking at bassinets and baby items. I dont know what to do, I know exactly how you feel . I already have a 1 yr old but im 5 months. I begged mi amor to reconsider, I proposed to her 3 days before she had the abortion. Mom's Letter to Baby During Pregnancy A Letter to My Unborn Baby: Here's What I Promise You September 25, 2017 by Laura Marie Meyers Dear Baby, There are still a few months until we. He is also younger than me and nowhere near ready for a child and even moving in with me makes him scared. All Ive ever wanted is to me a mom. I cried so bad in the clinic and during the procedure that I still have nightmares and flashbacks often. It was also great that you had someone to give you a choice. I was 5 weeks and didnt know it. I took the pill at 6 weeks. Thank you so much for sharing this. As a minor in highschool who lives with her boyfriend (of 2 years), I had to have a termination back in September after finding out I was pregnant days before the dads birthday (Aug. 28). It would have been too early to know the sex for sure but when I think of her I feel her and I know she was my baby girl your not alone, whatever you feel, your not alone. I had gone off my birth control a year prior and I didnt get my period for six months; then once I did, they were not predictable: they always came, but my cycle wasnt steady. I wish I wouldve bought her plan b or made sure she was taking her birth control but those options are completely out of reach now. It ruins our relationship badly as we are both regretting the biggest mistake we made in our lives. it didnt take him long to move past but its something I struggle with frequently in the form of nightmares and guilt. Im now 11 weeks and as soon as I found out I was pregnant he has gone back to abusing alcohol. I feel so empty and outright irresponsible. That is a beautiful thought and may have helped me make my decision . Even though I knew none of the other ladies who were there for the same reason I felt like I was not going through it alone. I'm your baby. And I cry every single day. I feel like shit because I was raised that this was wrong. Do NOT submit poems here, instead go to the. But tbh, by that point in our unhealthy relationship I had enough resentments of my own towards him to really care much. He is the reason why I feel so motivated now, and although its not easy I wouldnt trade him for anything in the world. I know thats the right decision but I cant stop crying or thinking about baby . God will see you through. I had abortion almost 4 years ago and it still affects me greatly. I believe that ultimately, our babies are still with us in a spirit. All I wanted to do was feel your skin and smell you. I'm still alive. I was shocked. There was also this paranoia about who the dad was. God is never bored of you. If you are in the position to do so, please consider becoming a SMBC (single mom by choice). I dont know where Im going to go or how Im going to make this work but Im terrified. locating a private donor and/ or coparent online Now I m just waiting for my appointment but I feel so shit , down and gonna cry all the time. I went through every logistic financial, physical, mental to see if I could go through with it. I cry. Your situation is mine. I need to get a surgical abortion on Monday and he cant even decide if he wants to come and support me. He said he would be there no matter what, but I still didnt want to force a family on him if thats not what he wanted. I was so excited when I found out because I didnt even know if could have kids. We dont say any words, but our embraces tell each other that we did the right thing. Dimplez, The Gift Of Life By to NOT have to make this decision. I was very sad.! It wasnt the right time and the best way to move forward is by working to build a life in which you can raise a child in the future. All other content on this website is Copyright 2006-2023 FFP Inc. All rights reserved. Im so scared though, because Im no longer with my boyfriend I wont get to meet that baby anymore, if it happens it will be with someone else, most likely. We sleep in the same room that night, and the next day he drives me to work. I so badly want another baby, but I got pregnant by the wrong man at the wrong time. I wish you and your baby love and healthy lives your braver than I was I envy that, I had an abortion in April. Again, I sleep in the same room as your dad that night, and when my alarm goes off, I get ready to take the bus to work. I have tried to persuade her to look at forums or see a psychiatrist to help her through the guilt but she doesnt want to be associated with the stigma attached with it. And, I dont know If I ever would have met my husband of now and not really sure of he would stick around with me having a kid from somebody else but regrets are one of the worst thing that you go though when you make a decision like this. He promised me we would be ready later and I believed him. He keeps trying to make me have the child and give my child full custody and I feel like he wants to rob me because I cant afford to have a child of my own. Her due date has passed now. Open Letter Concerning the Killing of "Baby Amanda" On November 3, 2022, National Public Radio (NPR) aired the sounds of the killing of a Child through abortion. Breaks my heart. I told my cousin and she said that his name sounded familiar and asked around. When I told him I was pregnant the first thing he said is lets get a chicken sandwhich. Thank you for posting and giving me hope that I will find peace. I feel my baby moving around and he doesnt understand what Im going through. Ang, your situation is same as mine. Youre still with me, and Im grateful for that too. What if I was never able to get back on track with school and start my career? Its been 44 years since my abortion and I think of her every day. I dont know what to do but I see no way out of this. We wouldnt. Hi. Surfing helps, but I know the best thing for healing is time. I was promoted to junior teacher two weeks ago. I feel so alone, I have to carry this burden every day. All the best. I look back at him as the door closes behind me and I feel alone, until I remember youre there with me. So afraid. Someone please talk and guide me into a direction. The dad and I literally talked about having another baby one day but we didnt know it would happen so fast. The technician asks me if I want pictures, and I say, I do. When she leaves to print them, I repeat the lyric from Gone and I cry more while holding my stomach. I dont blame you for choosing to terminate your pregnancy. This is not a fictional story. I am 18 and got an abortion 4 weeks ago. She wo t talk to anyone as she feels she would be seen as weak. Ive never thought Id be in this position and feel so weak and lost. I have been looking for support from this side. All their comments are stressing me out and getting me really down. My periods had always been very irregular and I had taken over the counter tests when it got late but I got negatives the both times so I was certain I wasnt pregnant. Not because I want to but because I feel I HAVE to. I found out I was pregnant on September 23rd, 2 weeks before my 21st birthday. Seven months latter she wrote this letter to a priest. Struggling with the decision I made. I have three healthy children 21,17 and 13 from a previous marriage. Ive often wished we met sooner so we could of had a child together. I commend you for making that choice. Even if you have others support around you, it can so easily feel like youre going through it alone. Hi. Constant regret and pain . There arent any protesters out that day and Im grateful. I cant share any of this with him. Its nice to see other ladies have the same emotions and I know when the time is right my baby girl will come back to me (: This might be a bit forward and seem strange of me but I have been through this twice before so if you would like someone to talk to or any support you are welcome to contact me anytime x. I just had mine this afternoon. Hi Mikal, I understand how torn you feel. We done the best we could at the time, and thats all we can do. We talked all weekend, tried finding ways to make it work but we both knew it wasnt the time because of so many factors, the big ones being my health and finances. And when that day comes, well both be ready. But I begged her not to go, I pleaded at times crying on the phone. I dont know how Im going to get over this. I feel alone, abandoned & ashamed that I have to make this decision. Im playing the song you listened to sobbing. Like something to be dealt with, a burden that was his cross to bear. Having an abortion allowed me to live my life and fulfil my dreams but I did become depressed over it and the stigma of having one can be really hurt you. Your dad is an alcoholic. I feel that it was indeed the best decision for me but Im so emotionally torn that i feel horrible for doing it i was also about 5 weeks . She wrote this piece to destigmatize abortion and to offer a story of strength and hope to women and men alike. We don't need to live in a big fancy house, Remorse Is Forever By Love you lots!!! Good luck on your decision if you havent made up your mind yet but no matter what, I am sure it will be the best decision for you. After decades of keeping her . My name is John, and. My little sister just found out she is pregnant and I am happy for her but I just cant help being sad that I didnt get to know my baby and see him/her grow and I may never get that chance again ( was told it wouldnt be easy to get pregnant to begin with) that baby could very well be my first and only. Even with his support, the support of my mother, sister, and friends.. They told me to think about what I wanted to do and that theyd support me regardless of my choice. It cant be easy and its hurtful for the man youre suppose to be with to embed abortion in your head after telling you, you two could try again. I knew that if I went in for an ultrasound and saw features on that monitor.. there was no way I could go through with it. According to Florida's Reducing Fetal and Infant Mortality law, which was implemented last July, abortions are prohibited after 15 weeks of gestation, with a few exceptions, including one that. None of it matters. Your dads hand squeezes mine, although I dont think its purposeful, and he asks again, Whats wrong? I look him dead in the eyes, knowing Im about to change his life forever. I have a 13 year old with my boyfriend and we live together. The 'pro-choice' movement argues that a woman should have a choice to keep . She returns and hands me an envelope. I PRAY my baby forgives me for being weak And she comes back to me. And draw pictures, made especially for you. I still wonder if o made the right decision. We talk about how we could make it work, but it just doesnt make sense. My heart is breaking but I cant have another child on my own. Nine nights later, the night before the appointment, I go to sleep the same way I have every night since I found out about you: heartbroken and tearful. He is quite a bit older than me and has 2 kids of his own already. Sending love xx. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that 42 million abortions are induced worldwide each year. Im 16 and I knew there was no way I could support a child. Like you, I was always so excited to become a Mom and I felt a sincere connection as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Dear Mom: Letters from an Aborted Baby Week 1 Dear Mom, I know you don't know I am here yet, but I am really excited to spend the next forty weeks with you and never be apart. Massachusetts Democrat told to resign after abortion remarks leave parents irate. I just went through having to make a decision as well. . I pray for you, and your baby. I stand beside her and encourage her that she made the best decision she could. At 18 weeks, April and her husband found out that their baby had lethal skeletal dysplasia. And each month, when it decided to, my period came. This apparently isnt convincing enough, and he asks if Ive taken any more havent I considered it could be a false positive? But deep down I know I might regret it if I abort it. i know its just rational thinking, but it still hurts a lot. My boyfriend was with me when I took the test. She assures me, You dont have to do this. I tell her, I do. I compose myself. Thank you for your bravery! Then I found out I was pregnant! As the embryo grows I am constantly conflicted. X. Whats crazy is this exact story is mines (not in reality but figuratively) I literally did everything she did, said everything she said. It is a very heartbreak-ling sad feeling. I pull out a second test with two pink lines, that I took while on the phone with my sister this time in the apartment, this time repeating different expletives. Hesitantly I got the pill, I was just a day before 10 weeks, I held my baby and cried until I couldnt. I think. I miss my baby every minute of every day. I sat on the toilet and watched as my destiny-deciding urine diluted with water, coffee, and last nights wine crept across the screen. I hope I only delayed meeting my next little one instead of completely losing out on one unique beautiful baby, Thank you for sharing. Im so sorry. From the moment on, he has told me to get an abortion, that its not the time. In her 2021 memoir, Teresa Leet shares her experiences in both having an abortion and placing her baby for adoption.While the abortion caused her years of emotional trauma, she has no regrets about choosing adoption.. A lack of knowledge about abortion. He had a vasectomy and yet I ended up pregnant again. A letter to my unborn child - you deserve an explanation We named you to help us grieve for you By anonymous on 19/11/2013 surgical abortion abortion 18 weeks Firstly I need to tell you that me & your daddy have decided to name you. I have been sleeping with a guy unprotected for a year now last month I got pregnant and I had a miscarriage I never told him because we are not together. I was 5 weeks pregnant. I am experiencing so much guilt and pain going through this again, especially since I am 32 years old with no children and two months away from completing my masters. My heart tells me it wa a girl. I pray for all of you. Then I sobbed all night and I dont even know where it was coming from and I dont know if they will ever stop. She wrote this piece to destigmatize abortion and to offer a story of strength and hope to women and men alike. more by Gabrielle Kruger. Its something I think about every day. I dont know if you have lived in regret or relief of your abortion before this moment, or what feelings his opinions have risen out of you now- all I know is what you decided to do with your pregnancy, whether that involved him ten years ago or not, was your decision. Im not mad at you anymore. Praying for all of you and I know now every situation is so different. Did you end up keeping your baby ? To explain the center's work, Pinson told a story about a girl who showed up with her mom on the morning the Heartbeat Act took effect, asking for an abortion. When I first found out I initially was a bit upset but over a few days I grew very attached. When I found out I was pregnant this time, I told him as we were arguing. He reminds me every day and he is resentful towards me like Im some kind of murderer. I dont want to let you go. I just felt I needed more time to see other heart specialist and doctors to figure out what can be done about my heart before I have another child. She gave her baby girl up for adoption, and now that baby is an adult. My arms ache for you. This moved me. Im going to mourn the abortion. I was worried I would have preeclampsia again, which could put baby and me in danger. I texted two of my closest friends. I then found out he was cheating on me big time it was scary my first thought was omg I cant have this monsters baby but I still carried on with the pregnancy a little unsure but over time he got more abusive, still treating me badly he started saying get rid of the baby idc . So please mommy, don't let me down. When I started getting very nauseous all the time my Mom said I was definitely pregnant and we went to the gynecologist who gave me an ultrasound and said I was pregnant. The saline solution burned the baby's skin and poisoned him or her. In my mind, Ive raised a child on my own, and even with all the struggles, raising her has been the most rewarding experience ever. Published by Family Friend Poems March 2017 with permission of the author. This is your decision and you must do what feels right for you.