And Im sorry if that makes you mad or upset, but its true! Youre still here, but its like youre not or dont want to be. Dont you know how much your happiness means to me? She co-founded Poetry Paradigm and is an executive body member of Indian Performance and Poetry Library. I dont see that spark in your eye when you look at me. Remember the last time when my girlfriend had called? This is a letter from a wife to a husband where I talk about years of hurt and pain you have given me. 15 Warning Signs You Need A Divorce For Sure, Is It Better To Divorce Or Stay Unhappily Married? Marriage comes with a lot of responsibilities and obligations. This letter to a husband about feeling unwanted is my scream for your attention - my pain finally put into words. In reality, its a big no. Marriage is considered a beautiful thing especially when both couples understand each other and are sure of what they are going into. You say that I need to be more patient but how can I be when things keep going wrong? I hope that you could still feel that way about me too. And if you are insecure, instead of fighting with me, why dont you douse me with your love so much that you will be sure that no one will be able to take your place? Thank you for the times you let me make those big decisions for my mental health. Think Aloud is a destination where youll find stories about every step you, as a woman, take. Your voice used to be music to my ears and now I rarely even get to hear it. I feel like Im drowning in a sea of my own tears. Not even because we have a baby together. Youre happy when Im happy, and youre sad when Im sad. We havent had sex in months, and even when we do its just a routine that we both dread and try to avoid whenever possible (if not completely). "@type": "Question", Not get pleasure from activities usually enjoyed. I understand. I didnt show because I wanted you to trust me. The truth is, even if were not seeing other people, we barely see each other anymore, even when were in the same room. And if that means ending our relationship so you can find happiness with someone else, then so be it. And my husband is always kind and good, but I think I am neglected! There, youll also find thoughts and questions by our community. Related Reading: When I discovered the dark secret my girlfriend shared with her BFF. I know that things arent always easy between us like they used to be when we first got married years ago because of how busy both of us have been lately with work. Separation is not an option, if you ask me, but feeling alone in a marriage shouldnt be an option either. Include Your Partner in Your Treatment Strategy. Instead of cuddling and watching a movie, we create real-life drama. Everybone hurts. Thank you for that. I wanted to express how much I adore and care about you. Depression is one thing that can cause a couple to become unhappy in marriage. We celebrate the happy, imperfect love without judgment or bias, and strive to help people love more mindfully by viewing their relationship patterns from the lens of mental health and psychology. Terms. You were ready to do anything for me, and now Im here asking you to let me do the same for you. Dont ever stop being the man I love and let me remind you of the woman you once adored. 5 Reasons And 6 Helping Tips. I know its hard to help somebodythroughdepression if youve neverexperiencedit yourself. I know youre busy with work, but can we please take some time for each other? You know it as well as I do: We just cant go on like this. You make me so happy even though its sometimes overshadowed by the darkness of my depression. I couldnt kill myself only because I know how much it would hurt you. Thats what you said. "We have been married five years, but have no children, only a handsome home. I didnt show. If you think you cannot express your feelings to your husband directly it is best to express yourself in a letter which allows you to express yourself better by choosing your ideas carefully. Maybe theres already someone else in your life, but you need to know that youre irreplaceable in mine. But Im still sad. But I cant keep feeling this lonely in a relationship. However, this is the reason I'm reaching out to you through this letter. When we married, we promised each other that we would be there for each other no matter what happened, but lately you have been absent more often than not. It is your duty as a partner to perform these responsibilities. I know its important to know when to give up, but this letter is about me begging you to keep fighting. It was a signal to others they had problems and they wanted people to recognize and sympathize with their petty difficulties. While your suicidal thoughts have dissipated, I know you constantly think about a day when they might reenter our lives and the home we have made. I think Im going to have a panic attack. or Oh my gosh, Im so depressed became a monotonous phrase that strangers were all too happy to proclaim when the coffee shop ran out of their favorite muffin or they were forced to stay in the library a little later than normal to finish a paper instead of going to the bars with their friends. I'm not fulfilled. Dont give up on our marriage. Hed tell me nothing but the truth and the most romantic things I ever heard. Words that seem like bullets. Whyd you thought I hide things from you? Its not and you know it. Im not sure where things went wrong, to be honest with you. An Open Letter to My Spouse Struggling with Depression. I am so depressed right now. Tips And Coping Advice, 13 Common Things Husbands Do To Destroy Their Marriage. I dont know if youve noticed, but Ive been feeling really down lately. It's like a cold that lingers, leaving you drained and vulnerable," explains Paul Hokemeyer, J.D., Ph.D. "Symptoms can include severe headaches, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, neck, and back pain. Ive left my virginity for you. No one would choose to feel this way, I promise you. And when you view me like that all the time, it hurts me so much. She shared a copy with Joie Bose, who published it in on Bonobology. You didnt get mad. A fight and make up will never take that away. I am writing this letter to you because I need to tell you how I feel. The frustration that comes with not being able to tell your depressed wife how much you love her, how each day is brighter with her in it, and instead knowing she will simply smile and not fully believe you or not realize what youre trying to communicate is truly one of the hardest feelings Ive ever had to overcome. Related Reading: 5 Unbelievably Weird Reasons Cited by Indians for Divorce. You hardly ever spend time with me anymore and when we are together it is always work related conversations or about the kids, or about other peoples problems. You go straight to bed after dinner without even saying goodnight to me or the kids. Dont doubt me, dear. The contents have gone from the more expensive craft . Depression makes me feel tired. Related Reading: How jealousy killed the love which no conspiracy or distance could. I want to be your partner in crime and the best friend you can tell anything to. Because what good is a house if we arent happy? That way you are fulfilling your duty as a husband who helps a depressed wife. She spent her 20's travelling, her 30's getting married and having babies, and is now hitting her 40's newly . Every marriage encounters some bumps on the road, but the strong ones survive everything. It can either be drug addiction or behavior-wise addiction. Include Your Partner in Your Treatment Strategy. } But you dont seem to get me anymore. "text": "Stress from a toxic relationship can cause a number of symptoms, such as sleep difficulties, appetite changes, and reduced immunity. I know that marriages sometimes simply cant work, but doesnt ours at least deserve a chance? I still want to see us grow old together Do you? You have been very busy with work lately and spending less time at home with me and the kids. And that should be enough for you. Hold my hand like you used to and guide me to the future we planned for us. Research helps you know about depression, its causes, symptoms, and how to treat it. You should be able to tell when they are stressed and when to give a helping hand. Letter to My Husband During Difficult Times: 8 Sample Letter Ideas for Different Situations. I miss getting flowers and chocolate just because you wanted to surprise me. You tried so hard to make me happy by buying me expensive clothes and jewelry and trips to Hawaii on our anniversary every year until this year when you lost your job and couldnt afford anything anymore except food, utilities and rent. Underneath the dark clouds of depression, I promise there is a gleaming smile. Not to see you suffer or walk through my shoes, but to have a chance to show you that I will always be there for you, too. I didnt sign up for this. I hope I did a good job of supporting you and loving you through it. Causes of Depression and Unhappiness in Wives, Symptoms of Depression and Unhappiness in Wives. Im not happy. When you reached your lowest low, it was difficult for me to not take personally your statements asking me to simply let you be and that you needed to work through it on your own. You can choose to save our marriage or to save yourself if its making you miserable. Leading up to our wedding and even a few months past it, I felt absolutely immobilized. So before you feel insecure, think of all that I have done for you. But lately, its like that feeling has been taken from me. I know that you would do anything for me. I know how much you love me and how much you want me to be happy. This can be made very simple. The choice depends on what you make. I was at a party and I had a tiny crush on the married birthday girl, and I watched her husband ignore her all night (and already knew him to be a less-than-ideal partner). You spend more and more time away from me and the children. ", I love you. Living with a depressed wife is indeed frustrating. Theres so much more ahead of us that we need to face together. I am sorry that I couldnt keep my promise of being your wife who will always be there for you. The only reason Im still alive is because I couldnt do that to you. Kate is a mother of three living in Co Wicklow. When we first got married, you worked hard so that we could live in a nice house and afford nice things. Various factors, including a loss of control and abuse in a marriage, can cause depression. , { We used to have our own love language that would melt my heart and make me dream of you. To the spouse who wants out . But I want to be happy again, for myself and for you. Then you go to the other room and I feel like we are roommates with nothing in common but the roof above our heads. I hope youre doing well. I was ready to give in to whatever you wanted, even if those tendencies were reckless or self-destructive. You knew that life with me would have its ups and downs, but you still thought I was worth it. I dont need anything from you except for your love and support during this difficult time in our lives. When we first met five years ago, I never thought I would be writing this. This letter to a husband about feeling unwanted is my scream for your attention my pain finally put into words. You used to show me so much affection, but now I think my own husband is not attracted to me anymore. Or were our vows just a joke to you? The family we were when we couldnt stand being apart because something was always drawing us closer. Trust building is very important in a husband and wife relationship. I have learned that there will always be days when you are down. Its that I feel like Im losing control over my mind. I just want to cry all day. I gave you my energy, my love, I did everything - and I mean everything - for you : I've worked on my jealousy to give you a break, I've worked on my endless complaining so that you needn't hear it anymore, I've worked on myself as a whole . Categories A letter to someone who hurt you, Read This If You Have Difficulty Getting Over An Almost Relationship. I dont know where to begin. Did you ever once think about it? 5 Reasons And 6 Helping Tips, Fighting In A Marriage 10 Tips To Do It Right, 9 Sure Signs Your Wife Is Changing Her Mind About Divorce, 15 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest In The Relationship, What To Do When Your Husband Defends Another Woman? In the topic of a depressed unhappy wifes letter to a husband, know that communication is a key factor that needs to be looked at in any kind of relationship. Dont ever stop making me feel wanted because theres a long road ahead of us. It doesnt reflect reality at all or at least my reality as a person who wants more out of life than what she has right now (which is exactly nothing). You dont need to worry yourself over what to say. Im depressed. There will be lots of times I feel like youd be better off without me, or that my children deserve a better momma. But lately, Ive been feeling sad and depressed. You know how I may struggle with words when it comes to emotions, so I thought I'd offer you something physical to express how I've been feeling. Home Depressed Unhappy Wife Letter To Husband. I hope you know I try. You are not happy anymore and neither do I feel happy living with you anymore. And I need you to be close to me. 2023 - Ritual Meditations. Well just keep drifting away from each other. But weve been married for more than ten years, and nothing has changed between us. Were meant to be best friends and lovers. Click here to learn more. It doesnt feel that way anymore, though, and its killing me.